Remember When It Rained revised
by Romantic-Agony
Summary: Another entry from my series of one shots. I have spent time, taking out the lyrics and adding more details. Enjoy! Rated for character death, violence, suicide. Dark fic.


The war is over, but not forgotten, and the light has won. What did anyone really expect? Harry died for it, of course, because when Voldemort took his blood, they were forever connected even beyond that prophecy. They were connected through eternity. But that's not what's important right now. What's important right now is remembering you, my brave dragon. You switched sides, gave up your family and your inheritance to do what was right. You gave up all your comforts to be with me. Our love was something that no one, including ourselves, ever expected. How could they? For the first six years of our lives, we despised each other. I thought that if I hated anyone in the entire wizarding world, it was you. But so much changed… and then you gave up your life to save me from your father, jumping in front of the curse meant for me. How did I deserve it? What deity decided that a love that strong should be wasted on me, the bookworm? Why did you in all your beauty pick me? I'll never know.

It was raining during that final battle. It was the fight of my life, for my life, for everyone's life. Curses flew everywhere and it was all I could do to focus. I caused the death of three Death Eaters, something that still haunts me at times. I was facing someone else, just one more of the numerous nameless faces in a mask, when your father put the binding curse on me, hitting me from behind like the despicable coward he was. "My _dear_ little Mudblood, I plan on making you suffer tremendously. How could you turn my son against me? You're nothing but a filthy MISTAKE! _Crucio!"_ With that one word, a searing, blinding pain coursed through me. He continued the curse as he levitated me to a secluded spot, to continue the torture without watching his back. Pain that I have only ever guessed at, have only ever read echoes of in books, this and more happened within the five minutes that he had me. I thought the worst came when he started cutting me with a knife he had transfigured from a tree branch. I was to the edge of oblivion, the dark edge of conscience, but I still could concentrate enough to hear two simultaneous _Avada Kedavra_ and know that Lucius was dead because the curse was lifted. But my curse was just beginning, because in between me and that loathsome man was your beautiful body, frozen forever in a look of determination, your wand arm at an odd angle where you had landed on it. My pain was excruciating, worse than anything he had put me through or thought about putting me through before. I fell to my knees, splashing mud all over myself, screaming your name, falling quickly into nothingness. I prayed to every deity ever in existence, waiting for the rain to wash away my soul. I continued to scream your name, through the thunder and the rain, when the battle found us and while others fell beside me dead. It wasn't until Ron picked my limp and ragged body up in his arms and mournfully whispered "There's nothing you can do" that I stopped screaming, my throat burning from the constant use and my tears still cascading like the rain around us.

I spent days hoping it was a mistake, praying for a miracle, even though I witnessed the moment myself. The only time I wasn't crying was when I was asleep, but according to those around me, I still called for you. I didn't eat, I barely drank, I was a walking shell. I suffered headaches from the dehydration and no matter how I tried my stomach and heart revolted at the thought of me being well while you were forever gone from me. The love that I had for you was obvious to all, the pain I felt not leaving anyone alone. Even when they brought your body to me, cleaned up and looking peaceful, dressed in your favorite black robes that you wore on our first date, I still hoped that you were asleep, waiting for me to wake you up, about to say "One more minute, I'll get up, I promise." I sat with your body for a day, not letting them take you away from me, not listening to anyone else, just staring at you. All that I had ever wanted sat in front of me, and you would never talk to me again. They tried to tell me I was killing myself, but I didn't care. I needed you. I needed you desperately.

It was raining again when they finally could lay you to rest, when I finally left to use the bathroom and they could take your body. I was inconsolable, desperately searching the house while I knew in my head, my once prized possession, that you were gone now. At the service, I just stared, dead to the world, completely drained of tears but still wishing I could cry more. I felt so lost. The service was lovely, telling of our love and your sacrifice for that you had been taught to hate and came to love and all the great things you had done. When they finally closed the lid, the tears started falling again. They slowly lowered you down, everyone else left while I just sat there, tears trickling out, forced by eyes dry from not blinking. But when they put the first clump of dirt on your coffin, I showed signs of life again. I fell to my knees, crawling towards you, trying to lower myself into the gaping hole that was your eternal resting place and screamed you name again, just like when I first saw you on the field, broken but perfect, all for my sake. My hope was gone, you were gone and all I had left were the memories. Those fantastic memories us, of the passion, of the happiness, of the hope, of our plans together. Our first kiss, faces flush from an argument. The first time we said I love you… I just sat there by the edge of your grave; I remembered and cried, my tears mingling with the rain on my face and falling into the puddle around me, soaking my cloak and washing away my resolve.

I stayed there for hours, wishing I could be with you again, knowing that I should be moving on but somehow unable. All I felt was pain, anguish, guilt and hopelessness. I couldn't take the pain anymore. It consumed me completely. I slowly pulled the blade from under my cloak. People thought I was too smart for this, were certain that I would move on, but it was the only solution that my usually capable mind could find. I ran the blade swiftly across my wrist, not feeling anything but watching the blood slowly seep from me, my life ebbing away. I did this more and more, surprised by the amount of blood and the lack of feeling. The edges of my vision blurred, then turned gray, then black. I heard people over me, but seeming so far away, calling to me, crying for me, their tears running down and mingling with mine, mingling with the rain. But it didn't matter anymore. The pain I felt in my heart was retreating; replaced by a fullness I had only felt when you were close to me and telling me how much you loved me. The last thing I remember as my eyes closed for a final time was walking toward a bright light and you, standing in the center, holding your arms out, welcoming me back in your arms. Now we will be together forever.


End file.
